Travel with Practice

I travel a lot.

I have traveled a lot. 

My movement around this world has slowed but once in a while I still visit a far off place and some not so far off places. Throughout I can keep up with ashtanga because it travels well. I know in the Hatha Yoga Pradipika it says to limit travel but it’s so easy nowadays. It can be draining though. It’s a challenge. Unexpected happenstance shows up hindering progression. A magic moment makes it all worth it. And the breadth of knowledge gained by doing. Sounds like practice. Oh practice. Asana, now that’s a challenge for me to keep up with on the road. It’s a little easier with ashtanga. A little easier for me knowing my and having a practice.

Finding an ashtanga studio is relatively easy. We even have a working one in Asheville, www.ashtangayogaasheville.com. 

I’m on holiday. I get the feeling that I would like to do my practice at a dojo and have a look-see on the internets. Results follow. Maybe there’s no dedicated ashtanga only studio but that word ashtanga will probably pop up. Most of the time a class labeled ashtanga means we know what we’re getting. A led class. It would be better to see “led primary” or something similar but not everything is laid out on a silver platter. A class could have differences than a “normal” led class. I look for words like “based on,” “mixed,” “inspired.” These terms mean the class will deviate from the counted series. Doesn’t mean they’re bad but just know what you’re stepping into. Don’t judge them when it’s not what you expected. Truly it’s all ashtanga. Ashtanga means a way towards yoga not primary and the rest of the series. The series are great sequences of asana that have had time to be studied and refined. Other sequences can be just as good or even more pinpointing a specific area than primary. I do like knowing what I’m getting into with a yoga class though. Especially if I’m new to the studio and teacher. They don’t know me. I don’t know them.

Get to introduce myself. Tell them about myself, my decade long practice. Ugg, I don’t like talking about myself. Feels like gloating. But, this simple intro prepares everyone for some ailment I my or may not have, my experience level, my devotion, a bit of insight to why I might be doing yoga. All that personal shit. It’s nice. A little human connection before practice. That’s yoga, connection as one in all sorts of situations. Led class, Flow Missile Flower Power Class, or Mysore.

Oh yeah the real score, seeing mysore classes on a schedule. When you need just a hint of motivation and not a fix like led class. Mysore, I can do my practice. I can do me. Still an introduction is necessary. Maybe know way you would like to do first, second, third, fourth, or whatever you may be practicing that day. Most of the time I keep it simple for everyone and just practice first for my first time at a studio. Talking with the teacher before class should work out what would be appropriate to practice. Sometimes I simply just need a spot and don’t want the attention of the teacher. I still respect their space and stick to the “traditional” series as I know them. Not adding something because I feel like it but just trying to stay on the same page as everybody. Not disrupting the class and the regulars. Already having a new person show up out of nowhere can be distracting to some students.

Such a nice atmosphere a mysore class provides. A space one can just fall into and fit into. Just like doing asana. Moving the body in more and more awkward and complicated positions to bring comfort in all situations. Like traveling. Seeing more and more to get comfortable with all the differences on this planet. To see that we live in different places but are all moving towards the same goals. Learning the more I see the less I know and that’s a good feeling. A fulfillment only felt while stepping out of the norm. Plus going to a studio usually means you won’t have to practice on filthy hotel carpet or rocks on a sandy slant. 

But, I have a high tolerance for uncomfortable and don’t really like driving places in the early morning when on holiday. Because I know my practice I can just sleep in, lay out my mat on the filth, and practice. On my own. For myself. Wherever I can. Whenever I can. Yoga practice is constant. Asana practice can be situational. Travel safe and bring your practice with you.

Brahmacarya

Last time on Yama Yoga Blog: Asteya reminded us of all the things we steal and a small bit about letting go and allowing freedom to happen. A freedom found through true purpose. Asteya, non-stealing. Need a refresher? Treat yourself to a reread of any of the blog posts. Then, continue your journey towards Yoga. “Atha Yoganusasanam.” 

Fourth yama! Brahmacarya…

This post will have sex in it. Time to bring on the clicks. 

Brahmacarya, continence, chastity, moderation. But this is a compound word. Two words put together to make a bigger more meaningful one. Word one, carya. The wonderful word carya brings motion. Meanings from activity, conduct, and behavior to wandering, walking about, and visiting. Word two, brahma. Brahma, the egotistical god that we do not worship because he does enough of that to himself. Thankfully, not the brahma we’re speaking of here. This is the greater brahma. The supreme, the absolute, the ultimate form, true legendary super saiyan. The thing that can’t be more for it is all. 

Brahmacarya, chastity or wandering with the absolute. 

“Brahamcarya pratisthayam viryalabhah.” “By one established in continence, vigor is gained.”*

Self control and knowing when you should give energy and know when you need to hold back. Keeping a store of power till just the right moments. Preserved energy aligns into creative energy, prana, mind clear so correct action can be taken. You build up a reserve waiting for the right time to burst forth and complete a necessity. 

But I said there would be talk of sex. Good old penetration…Well maybe not that graphic. We must take into account the progress of existence. Things change. We have the means to help prevent disease. The life and death gamble of childbirth skews more and more on the side of life. Slowly, even Americans, people start talking about sex in a normal way. Like with all old texts their words must be looked upon in the age we live in now. This is not permission to do as you please but permission granted to ask and understand the others wishes. And respect them. Consent stays viable and consent can change at any moment. No still means no, nein, nie, non, ei, tidak(?), etc. Brahmacarya, respect sex.

But we all know that, right? Correct. 

What about the deeper meaning? The reality of brahmacarya, Love. Not losing your seed on everyone you meet. Not bowing to every hard body. For love reaches beyond the physical. Love perseveres without contact. Show love without performance. Not like a vampire. They fain love to quench their thirst of circumstance. Draining us of blood, vitality. Themselves never satiated. They fall into the same pattern of false love that never completes them but only continues the search for victims. Leaving the victim will-less and unmotivated to pursue a life of true fulfillment just like the vampire. The vampire has tricked themselves and the victim into thinking they have received what they deserved. Blinded to true love. Love like a family offers. Love that a friend gives. Love of that special person that need only be present. Do as that supreme does. Move through life with higher purpose. Let that supreme guide you. That supreme that is you. That supreme that is everyone, everything. Provide love without theft, asteya. Without lies, satya. Without harm, ahimsa. 

Move as the ultimate self would move. Intention in each step. Result with each stride. 

Brahmacarya does not mean we should never have sex. Sex is a wonder and Shiva would never restrict that for there is no Shiva without Shakti. Walk on and love. 

I struggle also. Everyday I fight to have love for everything. To forgive everything. To not fall back into hate. Not that we have to like everyone but love them for sure. 

*Just a note. The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali from Swami Satchidananda rest near me when I write these brief glimpses into living.

Asteya

Last time on Yoga Blog: Satya, well it was the guns but last yama was stay, broke down the lies we tell ourselves and truth flowed into our lives. Felling the hidden fortifications we constructed around our true-self. Satya, truthfulness. Refresh yourself and reread the last post if you wish and then continue your journey towards Yoga. “Atha Yoganusasanam.”

Third yama!

Asteya! Don’t Steal. Non-stealing. Nothing too fancy with this one in the translating department. Steya can stand for theft, robbery, or anything that can be stolen. As with ahimsa, the “a” reminds to not do or non, non-stealing. Postpone your pilfering and pause your piracy. One engaged in non-stealing will receive wealth in return. “Asteyapratisthayam sarvaratnopasthanam.”

Theft, breaking into a home and stealing jewels and a TV but it is not limited to the action of taking tangible objects from another person. Stealing ideas, time, peace, and opportunity are all things that may get stolen. There are even laws in place to protect such things like copyrights and trademarks. But, beyond logos and characters, if a noisy person or someone who constantly asks questions disrupts a learning experience they steal from those around them. Stealing the opportunity to learn for themselves and others. Stealing the time for contemplation and reflection. Stealing the opportunity to think for themselves.

And, still there is more to be stolen.

The appropriate intention intended for a device, object, person can be neglected and thus their use stricken from them. Looted by caging it a “safe” place. Money has a purpose. It is not be be hoarded and sat on in a dark cave. It wants to keep you well. It wants to help make life better for everyone. If its ability to do so is smothered under the weight of greed; thirteen dwarves and a burglar will liberate it in due time. That art you work on wants to be seen by the world. It wants to lighten someone's day. It wants to speak with others. The vacant lot wants to be played on. It has no need for the no trespassing sign. It wants use. It wants to welcome. Each and every thing has a proper use and wants an opportunity to serve its purpose. Do not rob that opportunity. Let purpose prosper.

Review: Opportunity appears everywhere give it a chance. Be true to your ideas or give credit where credit is due. Robbing and looting is bad.

So Robin Hood* and Aladdin** are bad people? Much like the burglar with the precious ring they play their part. Like the hero Arjuna they too are truthful to themselves, satya. The prince’s taxes stole from those who had nothing to give. That money kept for the greed of a king’s ideals. What other choice was there but to give it back to those in need. A stolen loaf of bread to fight back the mornings hunger. To offer to the starving so good will can continue to be passed from human to human. Oxygen must be swiped from the air to stay standing against hate. Fruit must be plucked from their mother to spread and grow a new.  

Establish yourself in non-stealing and live an anxiety free life. Worries flutter away like a dried leaf in the breeze. Using what you have and sharing when you can. Provide not take. Establish not prevent. Grow, become, prosper.

*I’m pretty sure the real Prince John got a worse rap than he deserved. He took over a kingdom from a brother that campaigned in a war that cost a heavy sum. Therefor he had limited choices. Taxing the people so King Richard could play in his silly war and become a hero probably seemed reasonable to him.

**Disney’s Aladdin, I have not read the proper One Thousand and One Nights and don’t know if there is a thief character.   

***Just a note. The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali from Swami Satchidananda rests near me when I write these brief glimpses into living.

The Three Gunas and Me

Almost to the end of practice. Breathing. Setting up for my nonexistent meditation practice. Then rest which I love and hate. Baddha padmasana to Yoga mudra. Sometimes the ones Manju showed me to padmasana. Hand forms chin mudra. Chin mudra, connecting myself with the true-self. Control over the gunas: sattva, rajas, and tamas —

A brief description of the gunas if you’re not quite sure of them. I’ll start with just translating guna. In English it’s merit, quality, virtue. Our habits. It’s the thread keeping our personal mala together. They’re the aspects of us that in varying degrees create our personality. Each of us containing all three no matter how much we tell ourselves we’re missing one or don’t need one. We attach ourselves or define our lives around the ones we seek. The ones we have aversion to tell us deep secrets if we can just brake past our own blindness. Then it gets deeper.

Sattva, सत्त्व, goblin. Ha! I’m not kidding but that’s not the sattva I’ll be talking about here. I do love though that it can mean goblin, demon, and monster. Sattva is the guna of balance, harmony, goodness. Sure sounds good. That’s all I need, right? Peacefulness, creativity, positivity. I can get attached to that. Come to me balance. Set your roots here.

Rajas the guna of hot. Moving towards action and having passion behind it. Something to get that ego behind. The drive that keeps us an individual. That since the world center around us and that’s how it should be. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad. Sometimes neither.

Cold? Don’t want to move today? Tamas, the guna of down. Darkness rolls in. Chaos disillusions and we fall into inactivity. The imbalances show through the widening cracks and I can’t decide if the laziness, anger, or anxiety make me dull.

These are our three gunas. Our hot, cold, and just right. Then we rest just a bit too long and the family of bears devourer us in that comfy bed.

I sit in padmasana, hands in chin mudra, and the brain works. My gunas I’m attached to are Sattva and Tamas. I strive for harmony. Strive so much I don’t think about how I am trying to achieve it. Usually ends up thinking of others far over myself. If I do what I think they want peace will stay. I have to listen though. What I assume is helpful is sometimes just me not listening correctly. Not really listening for what would really help.

I cower behind false positivity because I think that’s what others want to see. Not showing feeling and locking it deep inside. So deep I can’t see it. Forgetting that I feel. That my feelings matter and won’t get in the way of peace. This is not balance. Not harmony. I am imbalanced. It slides me into inactivity because I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t know myself. Anxiety rolls over the darkness inside me that hides all I need to pay attention. I want nothing. I do nothing.

Then the past that shapes us. I grew up in South Florida. Heat and humidity abound. My father’s hot temper. So passionate that his passions blinded him to the happenings around him. Maybe he used them as an escape from the things around him. Self absorbed to occupy the mind from trouble. I built a tolerance to Rajas. Heat don’t bother me. Passions leads towards bad habits. Yet my ego stays strong blinding me to the true needs of others that I thought I was providing for.

I have no control. I don’t know myself let alone a true-self. Seeing this is a start. I guess I’m figuring out who I am. Reaching total loss of control means the only change from there is a bit of the opposite. Control of the gunas. They make up who we are. We view ourselves truthfully and don’t hide from what’s inside. Life is scary, I know, but it can continue and get better.   

Yamas: Satya

Last time on Yoga Blog: We learned Ashtanga means “eight limbs” and yoga is not just moving and twisting. The first of those eight limbs is yama and the first yama is ahimsa. Which means non-harming. Feel free to reread the ahimsa post or read it for the first time. You could also find a copy of “The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali” and start your journey to Yoga now. “Atha Yoganusasanam.”

On to the second yama.

Satya! Truthfulness. The truth, actual, genuine, honesty are all translations of satya. I love looking up the meanings to Sanskrit words. Many times one word can be used in so many contexts. Different but wholly related. I am by no means a learned person of Sanskrit so take what I’m saying with a grain of salt but satya can also have the meanings of reality, dogma, oath, promise. All words with a need for truth in their meanings. Most of them dealing with a certain truth you have to uphold in yourself. Be true to yourself, to your nature. This is about to get a bit personal, just a warning. I thought I was a truthful person. I learned not to tell lies but in doing so taught myself to not speak. Holding back on words and just making sounds that could be an agreement just to get out of having to engage in a conversation and hopefully making the person feel good about what they just said. Definitely not showing my true feelings. I fill myself with these feelings that I would never allow freedom. Giving so many people a false reading that I agree with them. Making people think I heard or understood them when all I wanted was to not engage and dwell in my dark ball of repression. Lying to them with silence and a head nod. Throwing out the occasional false “Yup.” All lies, mostly to myself. And where has it gotten me? To a point that I have forgotten myself. I speak no lies but don’t know my truths. Depression arose. Society became frightful. Imagination wavers. I have lost myself trying to please others. Then learn that trying to please everyone but myself does not work and if I am happy most likely the people I care about would be happy as well. But who am I? Somewhere beneath the stacks of untold truths I must be. No more lies. They bring ruin and collapse. Lies are weak and full of cracks. Building a life atop such an unstable surface is destined to crumble. The root system of satya can grow true life. One of unclouded meaning and happiness. Enough happiness to spread amongst the world.

Lying is not just telling work you’re sick when you’re not. Lying is a mask that can be used to hide behind and die behind alone. Not that satya gives us permission to go forth and ritacuel all we see with truth. It is to be a glowing pilar that can be visited when a friend needs some perspective. An employee that can be trusted with the keys. A different opinion that can take time to listen, understand where the other is coming from, and continue the conversation.

Reality is actual. An oath should keep you honest. A promise is only taken when you can keep it’s truths. Don’t lie and everything you say will be true.     

We need to be true to ourselves. Even if it means killing loved ones in war, says the Bhagavad Gita. It is a great section of a great tale. Eighteen chapters of satya.

You’ll need satya. Satya is what you need.

Speak truths when it is called for. Think truths to learn. Be your true-self or work on it and try to find it. It’s not always easy. But there are others around to help if you are willing to let some of your truth free. Be well, stay true, see you next time on Yoga blog and the yamas continue.

Next Time: Asteya

Yamas: Ahimsa

Ashtanga Yoga: one eighth asana(the positions we put the body in) and not necessarily series one through six. What? Clap, get up and dance Yoga is not just an Indian workout. It’s a special way to live. We’ll get to asana, don’t worry, it’s number three of this eight branched path. Ashtanga translates to “eight limbs” or “eight components.” Ashta or eight. Anga or limb. Got that? Nice, keep following now. If asana is the third what’s the first? What’s the second? Whoa, slowly slowly. Start with the first limb, Yama. Our moral duty to existence, Yama. Yama, a practice achievable by everyone. Status, creed, class, time, physical ability, place does not factor into one’s ability to accomplish the Yamas. Yes, Yama”s.” There are five of them according to Patanjali. Five restraints. Our ability to rein ourselves in. Control, going back to how nature wants us, good humans. Morals you could call them. Those things we all have and should not be blind to. Law built into existence to keep things from crumbling apart. Ahimsa, satya, asteya, brahmacharya, aparigraha: the five Yamas. Start at the beginning. Smile, these are great.

Ahimsa!

Non-harming, don’t harm. The word ahimsa breaks down into “Himsa” which means harm; violence; kill, and “a” which stands for not. Hences not violence, not harm, not kill or non-violence. Still with me? Feel free to go back. It’s okay.

Ahimsa teaches not to harm others, animals, Earth, yourself. No harm through action and thought. Murder harms but this philosophy should be contemplated on deeper. Effort must be put forth on contemplation and understanding of what it means.

Non-harming? Don’t kill got that.

But I live in the cold wilds of the north and sometimes must hunt to have food.

Good, don’t let yourself starve if you can help it. Respect that which helps you survive. No violence but care. Are your actions truly justified? Think, don’t lie to yourself, Satya — we’ll get to that later. Yoga knows you must live and to live certain actions must be taken. Only through living can the cycle of suffering end. Live and learn. Live and learn. Next life different actions can be taken. Same goes with thought. Those cruel words in your head did they pop up from unjustified prejudices or does anger, rajastic and tamasic gunas, need control. Hatful thought burns away at the body just like drinking cola at every meal. A slow steady destruction that can be stopped. Always time to help yourself.

Help? Yeah, help. Helping is not harming. In fact it is the opposite. Ahimsa: to help, protect, keep safe. Yes, cause no harm and help those in need. The struggle of life is real but with help that weight becomes lighter. Everyone carries this burden. Not one single person but all existence has the weight of existing pressing down on them. All help distribute the weight evenly. No criticism for what might have happened my shoulder is here to bare some of the weight. Their shoulder is here. Its shoulder is here. Her shoulder is here. His shoulder is here. We are all here.

Ahimsa, keep us safe.

Next time: Satya   

Manju Jois: Day 5 Nonattachment’s For The Monks

Yes, yes great drive. Should have taken a shower before I went. Got to eat Manju’s lunch today, idli and cilantro chutney, and practice was great. Thinking of myself though...not happening in a good way.

As much as some people have tried to push onto me I am not a monk. I am not a buddha. I am not Jesus. I am just me and I struggle with that. All the talking about nonattachment and lose one’s ego affects my vision of myself. You want nonattachment well the easiest thing for me to forget about is me. What do I matter in the grand scheme. People suffer in this world and I’m able to drive to Florida for a yoga workshop. Fuck me. This gets enforced in me with a feeling leaked into the “yoga” world that the ego needs shattering. What if I never had one(I’m sure I do have one don’t get me wrong). What am I shattering with no ego?

I shatter any remaining awareness of my needs. My self crumbles along with my self-esteem, self-worth, confidence. Leaving me to think of others before myself. Which makes my want to put other’s needs in front of mine superficial. Probably just feeding their hungry ego. And everyone’s empty at the end.

I am not a monk. I may have made a good one but not in this life. I have been awarded with the opportunity to spare some devotion for myself. I bet monks even do things to stay happy. Am I? Fuck life right. Life is not easy.

I am not a buddha. I may have made a good one...I’m just kidding. I wouldn’t know the first place to start. I thought it would be kindness but as life goes on I learn that I don’t know the difference between “correct” kindness and facade kindness.

I am not Jesus. I may look similar to how the west depicts the maybe historical maybe not middle eastern figure but I don’t have the confidence to start revolution. You could nail be to a stake for pain does remind me I’m alive.

People loose so many powerful words in the western world. Loose these words without thinking of their effects. Words like forget yourself, be nonattachment, “puff out your kidneys,” or much worse phrases. Some of us take these to heart. A teacher said them they must have meaning behind them. I bring the words into my life. I dig myself into a nice deep hole. Dark to shield my vision. Dark, beginning to forget which way is up. Their is that bright star in the sky that passes over top and reveals the exit. Thankful I do yoga and wish I was some kind of ninja. I may be able to plant my hands and feet on the sides of these dirty walls and climb from this hole. Then plop an outhouse over it and shit in it while thinking of myself and how I can be happy. Through finding myself happiness I show others that it’s possible. Go back to being an example and not a self-prescribed servant. Easy to say.

I am Shiva but we’re all Shiva.

Manju Jois: Day 4 I Can’t Eat

Manju Jois: Day 4 I Can’t Eat

Day 3 ended with an eggplant dish and the same goes for Day 4. I love eggplant. Raw or under cooked it’s horrible. When some lovely person cooks it right this meaty vegetable becomes a divine dish of the gods. I’m not eating them at the moment. I have been plagued with hives for a few years now and finally have taken action in a serious way to see if it is food casing them. So I’m avoiding the foods recommended not to eat if one has a histamine intolerance. Eggplant’s right there. One of my favorite things to eat. Tomatoes are on the list. So much has tomato in it. Spinach, avocado, cashew, citrus. These are the things I eat though.

Shit.

I now know a small sliver off what someone with a real food allergy has to go though. I’m sorry. I know a sorry does help much but not being able to just shovel food in my mouth is trying. I can’t imagine what it must be to worry that something you eat might kill you. I enjoy eating. Even more these days because I eat so much more. Meaning variety.

Manju talked about eating and it was refreshing. No dogma behind it just to listen to what your body tells you. It might be hard for someone who grew up eating meat to force themselves to stop immediately when they start yoga.

Remind me to write a blog on what yoga is one day.

They don’t have to. They can continue eating how they feel they need to. It may change and Manju says when the body tells you that a change should happen then that is when a change can happen. Listen. Much like the way he teaches assisting. Be aware of the student be aware of what the asana is asking. Move the student in the direction the asana brings them. A state towards relax. As relaxed as one can be twisted up in some posture. The spine moves in a way that’s healthful. The posture should feel grounded. Pain free.

It’s been a good workshop. No, it’s been a comfortable workshop. Don’t know if it’s the people, the teachers, the space but the vibe is so relaxed I feel comfortable in kapotasana. Today I more or less grabbed my heels on my own. Shit the bed man. Shit the bed. It’s so chill that I have to describe it using the word “chill.” I don’t like using that word. Some how I built up a resistance to the words “cool” and “chill” during my high school years. That’s probably a story for my therapist and I. If nothing else I hope I can retain this and bring it into my own classes. The vibe I leak out into them is not always the best for learning and relaxing. That might just be me thinking that though. Over-thinking.

I want to have fun in my classes. I am scared though. Scared that if I loosen up I will lose something. I can’t think of what that something might be. I try to think of it real hard though so I can legitimize my thought. That’s not working so maybe try to be truer to yourself and feel freedom in your class. Sorry talking to myself there for a second.

Have a great day. I think writing these “blogs” a little shorter is better for everyone.

Manju Jois: Day 3 My Embarrassment Comes Off As Humble

I got a good night of sleep and decided to go into 3rd series after 2nd. The beginning of 3rd has many fancy leg behind the head postures. For that matter 2nd is fun to watch. For that matter its fun to watch anyone do asana. People manipulating their body into mudra. Trying to heal themselves. Trying to keep themselves healthy. Great stuff. And when someone does some mixed feat of strength and flexibility, wow.

I do get a little embarrassed when someone comes up to me and says, “Your practice. Inspiring. You’re so good. I could feel the energy from it.” I nervous chuckle and say thank you or make some excuse like I’ve just had time on my side. Not to say that I don’t appreciate the compliment but I wish I could own it a little better. Or not. Would that then come off as cocky and send a wrong message. I don’t know what I’m doing. So many people I meet seem to know what they’re doing. All I can do is jump around and throw a leg over my head from time to time. Then I don’t really talk to people and worry that I come off as an asshole or send of to much of a mysterious vibe. There’s not much mystery here.

Then the psychologist talks with me about how great it was to practice beside me. She tells me such nice things that I have to hold back tears. Then I feel bad that I didn’t notice her at all. I don’t notice much other than my practice when it goes well. I guess I feel a kind of energy in the room. At least I can tell if it is a calm, up, down, or serious feeling in the atmosphere. Perhaps I’m not as aware of practice as I think I am. I do know that I need to be less serious.

“Why so serious?”

I have no good answer for that. That’s a lie I do. So serious because I have found out that less people interact with you when your serious. I think I fear interaction a bit. Yet I crave it. So much good gains come from it. So much.

Less bird on the way home today. Hope your day was well. And your puppies learn and behave.

Manju Jois: Day 2 You My Bird Buddy

Stayed up way too late. I was tired. Thought I would go to sleep but then I’m wide awake. I decided to watch a show. Not a good thing before bed. Oh boy. Ah, whatever. I can sleep when I’m dead.

Beautiful morning in the glory that is South Florida in January. Coming back home...what a mental chore. I’m filled with memories and nostalgia. I wonder why I’m not here. And that feeling is quickly changed by people filling the streets. Pastel walls of struggling to move flesh. Blind to what happens around them. Blind to what happens to Florida. Why are these people driving giant pick-ups that aren’t for work. Why are you so unconscious to those around you. Why does your pale polo-shirt drive me mad. My own bias. My own bias. We’re all ignorant in our own special way. I should have eaten more yesterday.

Another day another practice. I brought myself through second today and it was smooth despite it being not a great breath day. Tomorrow will be different. Maybe worse maybe better. I’ll have to wait and see. I’m not quite sure I let second series work its magic on me completely. This opening up I resist. I’m strong, my leg wants to go behind my head most days, and I can work on the breath moving me from asana to asana. The deep emotional work of second becomes the trail. I’m supposed to ball up those feelings and pushed deep inside.

Maybe I’m over analyzing. Maybe I want problems so I try to find them. Maybe I’m not as relaxed I let on. Maybe I am.

New stuff! At the last breathing exercises of practice I am told I’m skipping some things. What? After baddha padmasana Yoga mudra Manju(his helper mostly) adds a few more seated breathing tasks. Interlace fingers, palms pushing away flat, and straight arms over head. Ten breath. Arms stay but fold. Relax hands. Ten breath. Sit up. Hands come to dhyana mudra. Ten breath. Continue as “normal.”

Interesting, I hope I can remember to ask what these new breathing task are all about. My default is to just listen and do without asking why. Is this a struggle for others? I see the benefit to both and I see the destruction that not asking why could bring. If I follow a bad person blindly there’s no benefit to this until I learn to see. When sight is never granted my blind faith will spread the teacher’s ill faith. What harm can a question bring? It takes time? I have time.

Practice was nice. I don’t think there has been a time I didn’t enjoy practice after I finished. “After” being the key word. Colon, space, close parenthesis.

Break time. Eat an apple and take myself for a shoeless stroll through the empty city with a full parking-lot. Where are all the people?

Today’s assisting lesson begins with dandasana and a nice massage and ends with janu sirsasana and no hands. Manju’s all about the person in the asana being relaxed as much as possible. And his assists do this. I would say that someone a teacher doesn’t know may feel odd or worse when the teacher trots over and rubs their trapezius. It does feel nice though and the teacher can simply ask the student how they feel about that. A teacher should ask the student if pushing, pulling, rubbing, hands-on is okay always. I know I don’t but I am getting better at it.

Neck relaxing and into Pashimattanasana.

A bit of a confidence buster today. The assist for all these sitting postures are more or less what I do in my own classes. I always have a worry that I don’t know what I’m doing. Or worse that I haven’t learned or retained any knowledge. There it is. Ground the student. Move in the direction of the asana. Don’t over do it. Not all asanas need physical assistance and props are fine. Plus the added reminder of the teacher should not be hurting themself by assisting. Got to keep that in mind.

I don’t remember if I was told to not assist physically in janu sirsasana B or if I came up with that on my own. Either way this is a great posture to not touch a student. The heel of the foot is already in a sensitive area and you could have been helping them on less sensitive forward folds before B. Same goes for C. The student has been folding for eight asanas prior. If their head is not down yet help them next class. Let the heel do its healing on its own. Let the student work on finding comfort on their own. A teacher will not always be around. Teachers come and go but practice stays. The more comfortable practice is the easier it is to want to do it.

Practice contains more than just asana. A student needs morals, pranayama, mediation. All together making up Yoga. Chant to bring words into your spirit. Mudra to connect to a higher self. Pranayama to face death. Asana to live. We all do Yoga. I may go about it different than you but we’re the same.

The drive home. Along the Indian River intracoastal and full of bird friends. The turkey vulture I saw yesterday soars in the same spot today. The ibis flock grew. The sandhill found a friend. Of course a pelican or two. The whole drive a solitary vulture would fly by from time to time. I like to think it was the same one just traveling down the road with me.